If you are reading this, know how thankful I am that you are here. It is mindblowing that I took the time to create something online (something I have wanted to do for a long time) and have someone read it, share it, and hopefully enjoy it!
For a long time, I was stuck in life. I knew that I was filled with a good work ethic, had an amazing personality and had a love for all things creative. Yet, in all the time I was part of the living world I was consumed by laziness and a lack of motivation to change.
So what changed?
- In 2017, I left my full time job and moved halfway across the world with my partner in order for him to pursue international experience
- I was not earning my own income after working full time since I finished high school.
Leaving my life behind, being dependent on someone, and having all the time in the world to evaluate and nitpick every decision that I had ever made. I began to withdraw from everything and everyone. I was in the dark spiral of depression, and I needed to do something.. So for a while, all I did was just mope and complain about my life without changing anything. My weight increased dramatically (due to inactivity and the availability of Nutella), and with all the attention that was placed on my weight gain, my confidence plummeted. I was living in one of the most beautiful European countries and refused to leave my home because I felt as though I was being judged for what I looked like.It might sound silly to some people, but for those of us who have been through body shaming by family members being judged is a real fear.
It took a long time for me to wake up and realise that I needed to make changes in my life, big ones. I had been talking the talk but never walking the walk. This is the first blog I have ever published and shared with the world but it is the third domain that I have purchased in the last year. I needed to start this blog, so that I can heal and hopefully help others.
I discovered ways to grow emotionally, spiritually, and transform physically and I want to keep track of my progress and my journey from the beginning. I tried to get my husband into doing things with me and I heard somewhere that you shouldn’t try to force someone to see things from your point of view, instead you should focus on your own growth. That is exactly what I plan to do with this blog, to show everyone that you do not have to be rich, or grow up in a difficult environment, or be depressed in order to improve your life. There is always room for improvement, the only thing you need to do is realise that you can improve, decide what about your life or yourself you want to improve, find out how you can improve that particular part of yourself / your life, and JUST GET IT DONE!
This blog is me showing myself that I can put myself first again and build the life I want for myself. If I could help at least one person with my blog, I would feel as though I have accomplished something. Life is so short, everyday we hear of another acquaintance, family member, friend, and sometimes a celebrity not waking up in the morning.
Mortality is something that a lot of people dismiss. We often forget that our life here is temporary, we can lose everything in a second. Why not use that to live up to our full potential then? Why are we so scared of leading the lives we want to live? Why is it that we are continuously are bombarded with other’s opinions of what we do in our life? We are forced into careers we do not love or would have not chosen for ourselves, forced into marriages because society thinks it is time for us to get married, have kids we might later resent because we were unable to pursue our dreams because the clock was ticking.
In my own personal experience, I was bullied into having a big wedding, and constantly faced criticism regarding my weight. Who said that anyone who gets married needs to go on a strict diet in order to lose weight? Since when is my beauty reflected in the number on the scale instead of my actions? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the health concerns linked with higher numbers on the scale but since when did we start to judge a persons character on their appearances? Some of the best people I have met have not looked like they would have the heart of a saint. We are so quick to judge nowadays, and yet feel offended when we are judged in the same way.
I judged, I lived a life that I did not want to live in order to avoid confrontations and make others happy at the expense of my own happiness or peace. I know that my life won’t be easy with the decision I have made to post personal facts and opinions in a public forum, but I need to let it all out, to let others know that they are not alone, and to show myself that I can make a change, no matter how small.
-The Uninspired Blogger